Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Cat's Cradle and the Inspiration for AspieMama

The inspiration for the AspieMama blog came while I was visiting family over the holidays. My sister was reading the novel “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut. As she began to describe some of the characters and events to me, I recognized that one of the characters showed some signs of having Asperger’s Syndrome - although she accuses me of diagnosing almost any quirky person. :) I haven’t read the book yet, so please forgive me if some of my descriptions are a little bit inaccurate.

In the novel, one of the characters describes his experiences with his father, who worked on designing and constructing the atomic bomb. He states that his father became distracted from his work due to an obsessive interest in turtles. The people who want him to continue to work on the bomb end up stealing his turtles as a last resort so that he can continue the work. This character also describes how his father never played with him throughout his childhood until he once noticed his father playing with some string (he often played with “fidgety” items). His father made a cat’s cradle (a string game) and tried to show it to his son. However, the son was rather frightened by this, since his father had not played with him before, and he ran away from him.

I began to think about how I will play with my own child. I have always been a little bit nervous around other people’s children (mainly because I don’t want to do or say something to offend the parents), but I also feel somewhat clueless about how to “play” with a child. I knew that I would not want my child to end up in a similar situation as in “Cat’s Cradle,” and that I will, of course, play with my child. I wondered if other Aspie parents felt the same way, and if we could share what has worked for us about this, and other aspects of parenting. And so, AspieMama was begun! I hope this will become a place where we can share tips and advice, and support each other as parents in a unique situation.

Thanks for visiting, and Happy New Year!


Colleen said...

I enjoyed your website! I have a nephew with Asperger's and it is so wonderful to meet adults who have this difference and see that they are leading full, great lives! Please visit my website - www.facesofaspergers.blogspot.com

Thanks for the support! I hope to visit more in the future! Colleen

Becca said...

Your website is very interesting! I do not have Asperger's, but my husband does, and my son. It will be interesting to see your blogs coming from an Aspie's view and to give me some insight of how my husband might think. We have a blog at ourlifewithaspergers.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Yes, that is exactly why I have always thought I couldn't be a mother! I look at most children and have no idea what to do. I didn't really play much as a kid in the traditional sense. I spent most of my time reading, focusing on pattern on floors and walls, and creating elaborate fictional worlds in my head.How did you learn to overcome this?

Anonymous said...

Hi!, Thanks for your site. I have looked for a long time and there was very little sign of mums with asperger. Any tips and resources welcome. I am strugling with a diagnosis of AS 2 years ago whilst I have 2 young twins, I have also depression right now, help me please!

Anonymous said...

Hi, my son is autistic and whilst he was diagnosed my paedatrician took my mum aside and told me to get tested for Asperger's syndrome. It has always been a running joke in my family I was autistic for the things I did, but was always brushed aside that I was Kooky. It is very hard to find anything on Asperger mother's. I'm new to it all. Been dealing with my 2.5 year old son who is autistic. It's nice to read about you going ou not adequately dressed and your child at times. I do it all the time but my family help out or take over a lot. It's nice to read others are having similar situations

Mary said...

Thank you for putting this blog out. While I have not been professionally diagnosed yet, my mom, who received training for and has been working with children with ASD's since 2003, looks back at my childhood and says "You fit the profile of Aspergers." I have been a mom for almost 11 years. My oldest a boy, my other a girl, who will be 5 soon. My only childhood friend is now my husband. He has been a great help in navigating the social world. I feel good knowing I'm not alone out here in Aspie parent land.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I think its really great that you started this site and are so interested in being a great parent. I am an adult child of a mother with undiagnosed asperger's (but lots who know her feel that the dx would fit the bill). One piece of advice I would give you as an aspie parent, especially if you have an NT child, is to try to respect and honour your child's feelings and emotions, even if they seem ridiculous or unreal to you. I only have my own experience to go on, and don't want to offend anyone, but my mom really tended to see me as "weird" and troublesome because to her I needed too much attention and was too emotional and she didn't really believe in feelings that she didn't share. She also got very angry and frustrated if I was messy. I think that it's important to just understand that we are all different and that your child might have needs that you don't, but they are still important. I think the very fact that you started this website is such a great sign, so I am sure you already know this, just thought I'd chime in. take care