Everybody Stims...Sometimes!

At the encouragement of my husband, we went out on this busy shopping weekend to do, well, some shopping. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know I'm not a fan of shopping.

As we were checking out at the store, I noticed that the clerk would repeatedly squeeze a small ball while waiting for customers to scan their credit cards, take items out of their carts, etc. This, to me, seemed like a form of stimming.

I belive that stimming is something that we all do. How many people do you know who drum their fingers on tables, twirl their hair, and shake their leg while sitting? These are just a few of the ways that people can "stim." Because people with autism sometimes stim in different ways, such as flapping their hands or jumping and spinning, does that make them that unusual? No.

My stim is that I always need to be doing something with my hands. So, I do needle point. If that's not available, I like to stretch a deflated balloon. :)

We need to be careful when we try to "stop" stimming. It does serve a sensory purpose. If it is a stim that is very disruptive or harmful, try to find something that the autistic person can do that will give them a similar sensory experience.

Please share your thoughts and ideas about how to do this. Thanks!

AspieMama

I've met my match..."outliteralled" by my husband!

I'm pretty sure that "outliteralled" is not a word, but what I mean is this. I've finally found someone who takes things more literally than I do. Here's our latest story.

We were walking in a mall with our baby in the stroller. My husband likes to walk much faster than I can keep up with, and was pusing the stroller. I wanted to put something in the stroller storeage basket, so I said, "Can I put this in the stroller, please?"

From way up ahead, he said back at me, "Sure, go ahead."

"Well, I can't reach the stroller when you're way up there."

"Oh, well you didn't say to come back or slow down."

I had figured he would assume that he needed to slow down so that I could catch up to him, and thus, be able to put my item in the stroller.

Just a reminder to those of you with Aspie husbands: say and ask for exactly what you mean! :)

Happy Thanksgiving again!

AspieMama

How does theory of mind relate to parenting?

I think I'm using the term theory of mind correctly. With the change of seasons, the weather has been getting much colder. I love the cold weather and have a very high tolerance for it. So, I am having to constantly remind myself that, although I don't feel cold, the baby probably is. I need to keep reminding myself to keep him dressed warmly. I feel like I've been successful with this (espcially since I can ask my husband what he thinks, as well as observe other babies in public to see how much they are wearing). I also keep extra socks and blankets in the diaper bag in case the weather changes or is not what I thought it would be.

I was just wondering if anyone else had issues with anything like this?

Thanks for reading, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

AspieMama

Don't Forget to Visit AspieMama's Links!

Just wanted to remind everyone that there are links at the bottom of this page. Just scroll down to see Asperger's links, parenting links, and Aspie parenting links. Please send me an e-mail if you know of any other links I should consider adding. Have a great weekend!

AspieMama

So mad at my husband, I can barely type!

I will usually try to keep the tone of this blog upbeat and positive, but I really need to vent about something and hopefully get some advice.

My husband recently lost his job (stupid US economy!), so I took on another job. My husband did not go to college and I did, so this just made logical sense since I can earn more. He now stays home with the baby, while supposedly looking for a part time job.

Well, he readily admits to me that he does nothing all day but watch the baby! I come home to find the house a mess, dishes and laundry not done, the cats not fed, etc. Here are some of the things he says he does during the day (other than watch the baby):

- Play video games,
- Watch TV, and
- Take a nap.

The "job of the day" is still working well, and he does do one or maybe two other small cleaning jobs, but I used to do so much more while I was home with the baby. So now, after working two jobs, I still need to wash all of the dishes, do all of the laundry, take care of our pets, and do all of the other "daily" type chores. I usually only get about 6 hours of sleep per night, while he gets his full 8, plus naps during the day! And he's doing nothing about finding a job!

I have tried making an emotional plea about how tired I am, about how much work I have to do, etc. This does not matter to him. I have tried making a list of all of the chores I do in a day, to compare to how much he does. This did not matter to him. I tried using a stopwatch that I started each time a started a chore, and stopped it each time I finished to record how much time I spent doing chores each day. This did not matter to him. He says that I work so much slower than him, so those times don't matter.

Any other ideas for how I can get through to him?

Thanks! Have a great weekend! I'm already looking forward to it! :)

AspieMama

An Aspie Goes to Aerobics Class

I recently joined an aerobics class for babies and moms. As an Aspie who's a bit uncoordinated, this has been an interesting experience. It often seems that I have a difficult time following some of the instructor's demonstrations of different exercises. I have to watch her for longer than the other class members to be able to imitate the movement. Not sure if this has anything to do with Asperger's or not.

I am also horribly out of shape, so I am using the lightest resistance on the muscle exercises, often become worn out before the other members of the class. When we do walks around the area with our strollers, I am also often the last person to finish the lap.

However, I still feel great about myself for doing the class. Even though I'm almost always last, and I probably look goofy doing the exercises, I remind myself that I could just be sitting at home not exercising at all. This makes me feel like I'm not really finishing last at all.

I would really encourage you all to join a gym or exercise class. I think it's so easy for us Aspies to want to sit at home with our books, computers, video games, etc. But, it's very important to take care of your health. If joining a class or gym is not an option or is not appealing, there are a variety of exercise or yoga DVDs that you can do in your home.

Take care,

AspieMama

Halloween Candy Update

Just in case you were having trouble sleeping at night while wondering what Halloween candy I chose (ha ha...just kidding), you now have an answer. I chose peanut butter cups because:

- They had a small number of ingredients.

- They did not have many artificial colors or ingredients.

- I figured that chocolate has some milk in it and peanut butter has some protein in it, so it might be one of the healthier choices.

I also found a really neat bag of tiny plah-doh cans. The black play-doh was actually a big hit with the kids!

AspieMama

Your Rights as a Voter with a "Disability"

Well, Tuesday is election day here in the United States. I'm frankly not totally happy with either major candidate. I've often thought of myself as half-Republican and half-Democrat, so that always makes choosing tough! :)

I've compiled a list of some resources to help voters with "disabilities." (I keep putting that in quotes, because I don't like to think of myself or others as "disabled").

http://www.arcofdentoncounty.org/images/ArcLetter1108.pdf (go to page 7 of this newsletter for the info).

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/voting/misc/faq.php

http://www.ct.gov/opapd/cwp/view.asp?a=1759&q=284882

So, go out there and vote. I will be hoping and praying that we make the decision that will allow us to make our country a more safe, yet free, place.

AspieMama